had one of the most frightening of all frightening experiences with perverts. this man sat next to me on the bus, and stared over incessantly(in a very disturbing manner). i tried to protect myself with toni morrison's paradise but it was a stupid attempt. i attempted to stay calm and continue reading. but i was Freaked. almost had an anxiety attack. thank god Sebas who was coincidentally on the bus too rescued me. he peered over and said that he was getting worried and asked if i was okay. that man tried to explain that he was coughing continuously (and revoltingly) cause of smoking. i suppose he thought sebas was worried abt his coughing. i got away. according to him, the man looked like a druggie. and he was so nice as to offer to send me home although he stays quite a few bus stops away. (:

i need to drive on,
speed past that same highway
without looking back at you,
without wanting to
kiss those lips

stop the tears before they threaten to fall.

of course i can. i did.

lets get out of this country

so, i shared my current fav song with ray. you're missing out on good stuff if you havent heard Tiny Dancer, whichever cover.

met C after his tuition and he had lunch at Billy Bombers while i had a tall glass of Pink Pussy Cat which left me burping quite a bit. thereafter we went to pick xuan up from the MRT station cause as usual, the rest were late. the night went fine i guess except that i couldnt see hugh jackman or iceman in action due to our lack of foresight to get tickets early and interrogation by steph. haa. i'm glad things are better for her now.

met Jo and the rest at Wisma today and we took a long walk all the way to suntec. it was fun. pausing for food and photographs.


i suppose i Am intrigued by him.

1:09 AM;
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everyone knows what's going on on tues. an underaged party. a social event. which the j1s have been fondly flaunting their invitations by fellow under18s in the caf.
but isnt the thrill and exhilaration of it all being "breaking the rules"?
ok. shall stop speaking in case i get smacked.

i saw DS- kid's KINKY UNDIES! the worst terror of all terror! haa.

met chenwee who came to SA. was glad to see such a familiar face i want to tease.

had Pract Crit test which i'm going to fail. Lester was looking ard looking so vulnerable. Phototaking for yearbook which means that JC life is coming to an end (which i'm extremely grateful for) but it also means that the As are coming..
i guess the best thing abt this year has been the meeting of my 3 sweetest, loveliest girlfriends. the people i want to spend the rest of my life with. although i may not be just like them (intelligent and beautiful), i'm glad i have them in my life.

he came up in our conversations again and hell, what a dream.

12:17 PM;
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our first goodbye without a long embrace

in other words

8:09 PM;
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trust the school to add in god's blessings in vicki's article. for goodness sake, since u have given these great writers the task of covering these issues, i think the school should be given their accurate and precise words unless it's grammatical or any mistakes that they ought not to make. not attributing the achievements to god is not a mistake.

fri, conveniently missed school, choosing breakfast at burger king over being detained in that place.
Sun, went for a jog with leong again. this time i felt weaker than usual. maybe it's because i havent been exercising much.
we made the playground our destination and made a detour at Safra. sat on the swings (this time they had 2 instead of one) and talked. about the future, i spoke of having a small and peaceful flat for myself with a dog for company (i'll need someone to watch over me dont i).
and he was apparently very astonished "what? you're actually intending to live alone? a bachelorette pad?"
me : "why do you sound so surprised?"
haa. and he spoke fondly of his plans which was a complete opposite from mine. his was the conventional, the one that i would have hoped for but maybe not now. i certainly hope to see him happy.

what happened to the future we spoke so fondly of?

oh boy, it suddenly dawned upon me that i have a grossly overdue GP essay which i havent exactly started on and Pract Crit block test on WEd.

8:33 PM;
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life is about putting up a show.
if you are a good actor, you can be anything you want to be.


did you hear the one about
the one who fell from space
one minute in the stars
the next minute lying on their face?
- eddi reader

11:56 AM;
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maybe we were at the wrong place at the wrong time


the hockey boys put up such a good fight you wouldnt believe was possible.

when i put my thoughts into words, the emotions feel so real
the past seem so surreal.

i saw the picture. when you waited at the red station, with the sound of the train behind you, with a bottle and a bar of chocolate in your hand as i ran across the road in the rain

7:38 PM;
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i've been dismissive, apathetic and uninvolved of late. nothing seems to be of much importance. i havent been thinking much about what is said or given, not giving much thought before saying something. i guess much to the extent of being insensitive and straightforward or even blunt or even bitchy. but well, i cant explain it either.

school's being driving me crazy. just school, without the assignments, tests, nutty rules and regulations is enough to make me feel really worn out.

havent been sleeping well. not at all. been dreaming, not of him but of things that i associate with him. it's pretty screwed up. especially the after-dream.

vic is right. we need to learn to love ourselves and what's the best way to learn than to put it into practice. i'm still learning, to insulate myself from things that hurt, to protect myself from what's unnecessary and redundant, from what causes more pain than bliss. all those walking away that they have done and all those mistakes i've foolishly believed was meant to be made are just painful lessons that i have to take away, bury and keep forgotten.

we weighed out the pros and cons and well, there's more cons. so, the current situation is good. it's appropriate. it's lovely.

9:10 PM;
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old dreams should be forgotten.

i caught the patriot yesterday night and cried everytime someone with a name died. i watched as heath ledger avenged the woman he loves and died due to his rashness. and i cried.

steph called, but i didnt want to go.

met vic and mich on friday for some shopping before rushing down to bugis for dinner with mum, sis and bro.

craig david's Don't Love You No More seems just like a prophecy now, like a premonition.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Do you believe in fate?
I believe the good things
Only come to those who wait
We've got to plan the journey
Eliminate all mistakes
Take the safe route
It's called the art of driving

Maybe wait until the summertime
Maybe wait until December
Because a heartfelt seduction
Lasts a life time
- the art of driving

12:23 PM;
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i can love you over and over again.

10:42 PM;
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i decided to spend my time doing something constructive and that was making myself comfortable at starbucks with a cup of caramel frap and an extract from As You Like It. the assignment, to do a critical appreciation of the passage. well, that cant be that difficult i suppose. during the span of about 3hours, i wrote 2pages of words with numerous cancellations and blanks cause i just couldnt get the right word to describe the 2 lovers. and, i acquainted myself with the store manager of starbucks who noticed my mind boggling attempt at writing an essay and decided to come over to say hi and say a few encouraging words. i see it as a really nice gesture. (:

8:56 PM;
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love is a choice, never an obligation, never a well-trodden path, cause everyday signifies something new. i believe in fate. that sounds cliched but that's just me.

Love is merely a madness, and, i tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do: and the reason why they are not so punished and cured is, that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers are in love too.
- As You Like It

9:23 PM;
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yup anoymous, that is from the mexican. been watching quite a bit of tv every weekend.

havent been doing what i've planned to. although i really should be, to prevent my nightmare from coming true. thus, i shall start soon, after i get offline that is.

went grocery shopping with my mum in the afternoon, it was fun debating what food to buy. i realised i really do take after my mum. she walks in rounds and rounds around the supermarket, unable to decide what she wants to get.

we were talking about bitching in front of boyfriends about random strangers around us. i cant remember if i talked about how gay anybody look or how weird they were dressed. when you're with the one you do love, i guess nobody else around you matters.

the past, yes, a subject i broach all the time. i recall how silly it was, that i didnt want to see his collegues/friends cause i had a zit on my face. not forgetting how i refused to let him touch me cause i was having my PMS. but of course, i didnt tell him all that. how nonsensical i do sound now.

i have very bad sentence structure. but that aside, i shall bury the past, just like how he does it.

9:26 PM;
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Here comes my baby, here she comes now
  - cat stevens

random thoughts :

• i hate travelators (esp. those that go downward. they make me feel like i'm falling)
• i like small kids
• i dont believe in conformity
  
• i laugh at gay blogs
• the Singapore Prime Minister earns US$1 million a year!
  
• i cut my hair. myself. when i'm unhappy
• i think my eyes are too far away from my mouth
• i am going to donate my organs when i die. i hope they dont realise that they're stunted or something
  
• i hate it when others try to impose their mindsets/views on me
• i hate ah bengs

well, i was disturbed by a bunch of ah bengs on my way home. annoying shitheads.

i feel tired. from the lack of sleep but still, i refuse to give myself that bit of time, tossing and turning in bed til i fall asleep, afraid of the thoughts that surround me. so, i wait til i'm really tired before retreating for the day.
not only that. but i've been rather critical, asocial and overly sensitive. i get mad so easily and i avoid interacting with people. i need some change and the chiding from a particular history teacher and the horribly done history test definitely doesnt help.
we got back our journals today. this is what my civics tutor wrote "you are someone with a lot of promise... sometimes setbacks do get you down, but dont let them beat you- you are bigger than that" and "stay positive, like attracts likes, and you are such a sweet and sensible person." that just makes me sound so harmless and insipid. but she's been really encouraging recently and i really appreciate that. and i know everything will work out.

7:35 PM;
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had a great time with alicia on monday. what's new. that girl just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. LOVE! (:


random thoughts :

• my hair smells like mentos
• i want to go to Rome and/or Paris
• i love milk chocolate digestives from Marks and Spencer
• procrastination is like masturbation. feels good for awhile, and then u realise you're fucking yourself (quoted from a seemingly innocuous man)
• not all men are bastards
• i love rosie thomas
• i love hula hoops
• he's being nice (he's here to break my heart again)
• i'm PMS-Y before and during my period
• the exterior of my flat is painted in the colour "bone"
  
• i love to bake
• i love sunflowers
• i'm almost overweight
• i get carsick all the time
• if you love someone, you love his imperfections as well
• the moles on my back are shaped like the letter 'S'
• i used to hate taking photographs
• i dont believe in wishing on fallen eyelashes
• i burp easily
• Leos are astrologically compatible with Aries

Proud and regal, fiery and determined, the subjects of this cat sign are always a bit larger than life. Leos love to be noticed, admired, and adored. Leos are loyal, likable, and often quite lovely people, but they can also be self-indulgent, stubborn, and prone to sulking if they don't get their own way.They are warm, demonstrative, and theatrical and love pageantry, blitz and glamour. When Leos commit themselves to something they go with it for life. Leos are honest in love life. Leos when loved and respected have hearts of gold. But when not loved or when they are not reciprocated they become depressed, self-pitying and self-destructive.
In the lion's den the impetuous Aries lover will find a welcome home. Their sex life could be legendary and infidelity kept to a minimum, or eliminated all together. This is because they will probably find what they want from each other, and not have a physical compulsion to stray. Leo admires the aggressive tendencies of fiery contemporaries. This is exactly what Ariens are, making this an ideal union.
These well-matched partners get along marvelously in the bedroom. They're an unbeatable combination for deriving sheer joy and excitement from sex. They also share the same likes and dislikes in other areas of life. However, they need all that rapport to overcome one big problem-the head-on collision of two super egos, each of whom wants to play the leading role. They have to learn to share center stage. Otherwise, a glorious mating.
This is a truly glorious match. Aries the Ram and Leo the Lion, both Fire Signs, are the blazing superstars of the zodiac. Leo is ruled by the Sun, while the Ram is the Day Star's exaltation. Full of life and love, the lure of adventure pulls you together in a marvellously joyous dance, the affirmation of life itself. It's an unbeatable combination for sheer joy and excitement.
more


If two people love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?
Never.

5:34 PM;
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jiemin
02 aug 1988
saint andrew's junior college

filchingescapades-@hotmail.com /
ljiem.in@gmail.com

alicia
anita
baohui
bel
char
desiree
glenn
hanis
jill
joey
junling
lester
liz
musa
nas
sam
sherrie
simon
tessa
vicki
yan

February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007