Wednesday, October 25, 2006
no, i'm not going through the motions.
i gather that i must be going a little insane. i stayed up til the wee hours of Tuesday morning, til 6am, lying in bed after finishing a gp compre(a tremendous achievement), but unable to fall asleep. attempting to read The Boey certainly didnt make things any better. and i ended up trying to find refuge in the first person whom i thought would be awake. it seems like just weeks ago that we were mugging for the Os doesnt it.
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Friday, October 13, 2006
i guess if anyone has reason to be a misandrist, that would be me.
the fact that we no longer need to drag our feet along the streets of Potong Pasir at 715am has not sunk in, yet.
the fact that we no longer need to drag our feet along the streets of Potong Pasir at 715am has not sunk in, yet.
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006
- Do what you love. Fuck everything else.
i wonder if i'll ever dare to step away from reality and do something different, try a new experience. i dont think i'll have the courage and tenacity to. like how i didnt dare to choose the path to Poly cause i was afraid i would regret it later. (not like i'm not regretting JC) what would things be like if i made a different choice? i guess i'll never know, cause life does not move back in time.
i finally caught Little Miss Sunshine and everyone should too. It truly brought me into another dimension, another perspective and somewhere real. it is heartwarming and induces heartache even at times when we were laughing madly. i guess it is true that suffering is what brings you forward in life, what brings you to learning new things and appreciating what's intrinsic. but the question is how much can we take before we give up?
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Sunday, October 08, 2006
CL and i had our mini Lantern and Mooncake festival celebration on Friday, complete with lanterns, mooncakes, candles and an almost full moon. we went up to the top of the hill and spent the time catching up with each other, letting the candles burn out instead. it was nice although i was supposed to be catching up with my books.
getting up early for tuition is a chore.
i hope nobody saw me asleep,
with my mouth wide open,
and my faith all broken.
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Wednesday, October 04, 2006
i wish i'm still a kid. even though it means going to school donned in PAP-colours and being indoctrinated with government-loving sentiments. because it means needing to only bring my water bottle with me and nothing else. although that means i would have to fight for my crayons with the other kids, tomorrow, we would all be playing at the playground.
with a face like mine, i would just need a XXXXXXL dress.
with a face like mine, i would just need a XXXXXXL dress.
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Sunday, October 01, 2006
playing in the background : Red Rover - Rosie Thomas and Sam Beam (Iron & Wine)[removed]
life seems just a little stale these days. we just go on this endless repeat of trying to keep to our study plan, to prepare to not fail our A levels which are one month away, agonizing about our lack of something, be it motivation or love, that that is intangible. maybe for some, it's money. perhaps making plans and writing lists can take those thoughts away or hide them til we are brave enough to face up to them.
admitting that i still have him in my mind was easy on my fingers but not on my mind. Without a doubt, i was in denial and have been for quite a while, floundering and awaiting for something.
i've been trying rather unsuccessfully to start on my GP essay for the past few days. i need to get rid of that procrastinating bug in my brain(and hands and ass) and start finishing my work before i can do my revision.
results have not been optimistic. Ds for everything i've received and will only be Cs if the school is kind enough to round up my decimals. i hope things are better for my peers.
yesterday, there was a mishap involving curry and a white bag, and we had to run in the rain and dash across a busy road. evidently, being the idiot i am, i needed a 'helping hand' on the last one.
was assisting Vicki in her compilation and well, it makes me wonder if i will ever find someone i can do that for or someone who would do the same for me. til then, i'll be listening to Rosie Thomas and reading Chuck Palahniuk and Jean Coctaeu.
life seems just a little stale these days. we just go on this endless repeat of trying to keep to our study plan, to prepare to not fail our A levels which are one month away, agonizing about our lack of something, be it motivation or love, that that is intangible. maybe for some, it's money. perhaps making plans and writing lists can take those thoughts away or hide them til we are brave enough to face up to them.
admitting that i still have him in my mind was easy on my fingers but not on my mind. Without a doubt, i was in denial and have been for quite a while, floundering and awaiting for something.
i've been trying rather unsuccessfully to start on my GP essay for the past few days. i need to get rid of that procrastinating bug in my brain(and hands and ass) and start finishing my work before i can do my revision.
results have not been optimistic. Ds for everything i've received and will only be Cs if the school is kind enough to round up my decimals. i hope things are better for my peers.
yesterday, there was a mishap involving curry and a white bag, and we had to run in the rain and dash across a busy road. evidently, being the idiot i am, i needed a 'helping hand' on the last one.
was assisting Vicki in her compilation and well, it makes me wonder if i will ever find someone i can do that for or someone who would do the same for me. til then, i'll be listening to Rosie Thomas and reading Chuck Palahniuk and Jean Coctaeu.
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