everytime i see you, the words come to into my head, but i can never bring them any further. it's an apology left unspoken. (for almost 2 years now)

been suffering from a bad spate of headaches. it hits me every alternate day and leaves me immobile and slumberous. even falling asleep is a problem. maybe like what claudine said, it's the stress. however, come to think of it, i havent been doing much studying to actually be stressed. oh brother.

11:35 PM;
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had lunch at Asian Kitchen at Raffles Place yesterday. just the two of us. it was sort of for my birthday and it was lovely. (:


i dreamt that i died.

Carnival came by my town today
bright lights from giant wheels
fall on the alleyways
and I'm here
by my door

4:04 PM;
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des tried to kidnap a bunny, mich gave us medieval names, vic is all dreamy and me, i'm just
obstinately cynical

A cigarette that bares a lipstick's traces
An airline ticket to romantic places

A tinkling piano in the next apartment
Those stumblin'words

A fair ground painted swings

The winds of march that made my heart a dancer
A telephone that rings but who's to answer
Oh, how the ghost of you clings

8:17 PM;
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yesterday i received a call from a dude of Fitness First. apparently Andrew signed up and left my name and number with them. he probably thinks i need the exercise.

and i guess it really was christabel and pple walking in front of me that day, meeting pple (one of which i think i saw is sam) at the kaya toast place at harbourfront. how fortunate, to be able to enjoy themselves while it's time for us to start doing some real studying.

----
that peck on the check, so sweet, so swift, and so suspicious.
i lost it right there

You are the villain who sends a
Line of dark fantastic passion

bel : i cant wait either!

11:44 AM;
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been feeling the stress, but not exactly doing much about it. i really should be. the block tests 2 results were not a good sign.

vicki's taking driving lessons and kenny's already gotten his license. that's really cool. if only i dont get car sick so easily. ha. how retarded that sounds. and it's probably right. even if i do get a car, being the blur shit i am, i'm likely to forget where i parked it. i could end up drawing a map or writing notes. but when i'm old, i hope there will be someone who would pore over that map with me. it would be good if he had a better sense of direction too.

seems like there was really someone who "shone" through the crowd. however, she was nothing like what i had in mind.

time to hit the books.

8:35 PM;
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Our hands lay useless in our laps
Like beetles on their backs

9:02 PM;
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someone lost a kite to the wind.

8:19 PM;
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i dont know to describe it as an ordeal or a test of endurance. i guess they both hold vaguely similar meanings.

there was a crackdown on the patients of the clinic located at the void deck of my block. the police came and the men ran all over, into the salon and other places. at least it's good to know that there's something there if i ever need it.

we watched Pirates Of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest. i gave it much credit more due to the cast than to the storyline. this follow up to Black Pearl was a little too gory or monstrous that i think kids will suffer from nightmares. it was indeed a little disturbing that young kids would be allowed to watch it when we ourselves were dismayed at some of the images.

we explored central Singapore - venturing into the Armenian Church and walked through the alleys surrounding the now defunct Capitol Theatre. it was delightful. the sacred and beautiful and the forgotten.


i feel loved.

today, i met yl for dinner. then, i was brought to see someone. he talked on and on. i developed violent tendencies. in my subconscious and barely awake mind, i imagined shoving the marker he was holding up his nose. i fought back with words. i wanted to get out. but i was too exhausted. the flu took a toll on me. i wanted to just lie on the table. in the end, i tried to be polite and stayed til the end. i wanted to exit gracefully.

thanks des, for the the flu pill and the dude who gave it to u.

10:02 PM;
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you made my day.
that is exactly what i need on this cold and wet day.

6:29 PM;
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those 5minutes were one of the most excruciating ones i've ever had.
she had never incited such fear in me. i had always passed her without prompting any attempt from her to scream at me. but that day she did. not only that, she tracked us to the washroom. where i thought i was safe. her menacing figure blocking the exit, as she stared at both of us.

9:41 PM;
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went over to alicia's where we had lots of junk food and watched nonsensical videos.
i finally watched the Korean "Everybody has Secrets" which is a remake of a pretty obscure English movie "About Adam". and we watched goofy, senseless and tit bopping French Maid videos and other stuff. on Youtube and Podcast.

this week, i spent every alternate day in town, spending every last cent that i had.

8:14 PM;
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happy birthday dear! i hope u had a great birthday. and that u like the biggest cookie i've ever baked. i managed to take a picture of it before it was broken into pieces. LOVE!









we were having this mini debate on whether Ben Gibbard is one of those emo guys. obviously, me and des protested that he wasnt. after i sent des "You Remind Me of Home", she has fallen in love with him as much as i have. but vic insisted that he is. arghh. due to his "emo" voice. according to her, Pete Yorn isnt. (thank god) i love that man too. and i dont think Ben Lee is too. according to me. but his songs are kinda emotive though. but well, which arent? and what about one of the more overplayed emo artist, James Blunt. oh dear, his songs just make us want to break down and sob when they were played in the shops. that's why i deleted them off my computer. or have i?

and seriously, who cares if they're indie or not.

7:45 PM;
1 comments

i had a myriad of dreams last night. it wasnt just a few simple dreams, the usual dreams that seem so real. these were just totally unrelated and perplexing.

there was something about New Year and a new house and an old friend coming to visit on a bike, then something about playing in a basketball match(that's is seriously disturbing), and the most vivid of all,
dreaming of trying to make him stay. what i never did when i could. but in the dream, it didnt work, no matter how hard i tried. there was someone else calling him.
i awoke with tears in my eyes. i dont know whether to hope if it reflects reality. but i really dont wish to care.

12:09 PM;
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i dont know whether to scoff at you or to just simply laugh. but i'm glad to have found someone who is more pathetic than i was. may you snap out of it soon or drown in your wishful hoping/ hopeful wishes.

i think i'm too protective of my friends. maybe one day i'll get into one of those ah lian staring incidents and get into a cat fight with them. haa. mich says i ought to control myself. well, i wish i could. i should start trying.

yesterday was just chill out and it was nice, except for the part when we stood along the road, talking and singing while desperately screaming for a cab. i loved the part with the meatballs.

what the hell. 7 weeks to PRELIMS?! fuck.

anita : look, the comments thingy is for you! since the board doesnt load for you all the time.
alicia : yah yah. you're always complaining of having loads of pictures of my hand which covers my face when you try to take a picture. not anymore yea.
des : love u dear.
jl & nic : we need to meet up soon.

12:42 PM;
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jiemin
02 aug 1988
saint andrew's junior college

filchingescapades-@hotmail.com /
ljiem.in@gmail.com

alicia
anita
baohui
bel
char
desiree
glenn
hanis
jill
joey
junling
lester
liz
musa
nas
sam
sherrie
simon
tessa
vicki
yan

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