i've been dismissive, apathetic and uninvolved of late. nothing seems to be of much importance. i havent been thinking much about what is said or given, not giving much thought before saying something. i guess much to the extent of being insensitive and straightforward or even blunt or even bitchy. but well, i cant explain it either.
school's being driving me crazy. just school, without the assignments, tests, nutty rules and regulations is enough to make me feel really worn out.
havent been sleeping well. not at all. been dreaming, not of him but of things that i associate with him. it's pretty screwed up. especially the after-dream.
vic is right. we need to learn to love ourselves and what's the best way to learn than to put it into practice. i'm still learning, to insulate myself from things that hurt, to protect myself from what's unnecessary and redundant, from what causes more pain than bliss. all those walking away that they have done and all those mistakes i've foolishly believed was meant to be made are just painful lessons that i have to take away, bury and keep forgotten.
we weighed out the pros and cons and well, there's more cons. so, the current situation is good. it's appropriate. it's lovely.