we never believe that this miracle can happen to us twice.i have 2 essays to finish and a test to study for. but,
Whatever.
why is it that men can practise polygamy, be in multiple affairs but they cant accept women doing the same? why is it that you can be thinking of someone else when you claim to be in love? that's the same idea right?
it was 3months of mistakes. i did the stupidest things i never thought i would do. it's too late to take them back but i'm sure it wont happen again.
indeed, you feel differently with different people, that's why you feel this way for the first time. cause it was a completely different emotion previously and this obviously feels better than the last. it's something you've longed for for ever since i've known you and maybe that's why it feels different.
i was deluded, you're deluded, everyone's deluded.
went for a morning jog and had a hearty breakfast.
wed - met xuan to get yan's present. wanted to get some rest at home cause of that headache but sat in the comfort of coffee bean instead, sipping vanilla coffee with delightful sprinkles of chocolate, as though preparing myself for some sort of
unfamiliar discomfort.
it was great catching up with xuan after SO LONG! the long bus rides back home from town when we would just chat about everything and anything. that silly girl stuffed me with food again and frivolous shopping as we bought matching undies and she got me famous amos cookies.
thurs - got home for a quick bath and rushed off to collect some stuff before heading for sentosa. the 3 of us plus xuan's bf had a great time just chatting and laughing at the top of our voices off sunset bay. we amused anita with stories of how we terrorized teachers, talked abt sagging (papaya) boobs, hid in the toilet during chinese lessons sitting on the sink and watering plants, how i was always at the mercy of balls during PE and loads more. i do miss secondary school.
fri - skipped sch and was supposed to meet the girls in town but well.. anyw, met Zr.
it was a busy week, with nights ending late, with no intoxication and no more lies.
i realised my Clinique mascara is not completely waterproof as i saw a panda staring back at me when i looked into the mirror. time for more shopping after this (another) hectic week i guess. with project after project, things which have nothing to do with economics, literature, history or general paper. just more time spent not studying, scouting all over for people and items.
i'm waiting for that someone to tell me that it will happen again, that someone who will hold me in his arms when my eyes are swelled up and i look like a puffer fish and tell me that it's not the end.
that's why we cling on so desperately, afraid to be hurt again.